Stage Scared

Released
April 8, 1924

Starring

 * Ernie
 * Farina
 * Jack
 * Jackie
 * Joe
 * Mary
 * Mickey

Story
A con man comes into town and arranges a presentation on the Trombonians, a made-up poor nation somewhere within a thousand miles of Egypt. To promote his cause pays Ernie and Farina a quarter each to dance in loincloths on the stage at the meeting. The audience is so inspired by the dancing that they encourage a high society-type lady to write a play featuring the gang to present to the whole town and hopefully raise a lot of money. She writes eagerly, and produces some confusing story about a battle between the ancient Egyptian and Roman Empires. For authenticity’s sake, the kids are all dressed in loincloths, but Mary also gets a top consisting of two coconut half-shells attached to a string.

All kinds of things go wrong with the performance. Joe falls offstage and gets stuck in a drum. Farina gets rolled up in a curtain and is lost for fifteen minutes. The key that is supposed to unlock the chains that Mary, playing a prisoner, doesn’t work, and it takes fifteen minutes to find a saw that will cut them. Scenery and props fall down revealing crude not-so-special effects. The play was supposed to be serious, but the audience finds it hilarious and loves it. While some are trying to repair the scenery, Jackie ties firecrackers to a cow’s tail, which soon ignites a large box of fireworks, which in turn burns the building down.

Everyone escapes, but the kids lose their street clothes that were stored in the changing room that burned with the rest of the building. Fortunately, the show was such a spectacular success that they are immediately signed up to go on tour. They put on shows every day in different towns, each time raising a lot of money. Naturally in order to maximize the take nothing is spent on unnecessary items like additional clothing for the gang, so they never wear more than the loincloths the whole time.

After a month the con man decides he has made enough. He takes the gang on a boat and drops them off on an uninhabited island, and then leaves. As he is sailing away, Jack yells out,

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“I’m retiring. You can make up your own show now!”

Mickey thinks out loud to the rest of the gang.

“Would anybody be interested in a show with seven castaways stranded on a deserted island?”